contains mild peril

Friday, December 30, 2005

Dancer in the Dark

Saw Dancer in the Dark today (appalling weather outside so sat in, drank some port and watched it - very Yulelike).

The film... well. I think that the film was rubbish (why the stir at Cannes??) but haveing said that, I was crying at moments. So, was this due to Bjork's "extraordinary" performance? Prob'ly. It sure as hell wasn't her co-stars' acting or singing. Actually maybe their singing could have driven me to tears...

But no. Maybe I'm just a big softie, but seeing Bjork crying (and she really is - whatever is ripping her up to get the performance is making her cry - she ain't that good an actor) made me well up as well.
Lars Von Triers' contributions to the film (hand-held steadicam and fixed cameras, as well as the trite "story") are rubbish. I appreciate trying new approaches to filming musicals but he doesn't pull it off. But getting Bjork was a good ploy as the music is good, her singing heartfelt and, as she can't act, cinema verite (or whatever) is actually perfect for her.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

mime is a cafe con leche, por favor

If coffee tastes like tobacco is it bad or am i just hungover?

yes, I've learnt "cafe con leche". As its the only coffee (hell, any drink other than "cerveca") that I know how to say, I drink it everywhere.
Like everyone, I learn food and drink first, hotels second (they kinda know what you're there for, so fingers and mime go a long way).

Flirting is trickier in a new language. I tend to use my hands (steady there) and knowing gestures. My mate thinks that he invented them but they're kinda essential to pass off ignorance and keep in the chase. Mime is ok (hell, my hands move when i speak in English so just take on more focus when I'm saying "eeerrrrmmmmm....") but you don't really need any of the above when a Columbian woman (21?) looks you squarely in the eye and says "69" when describing her tattoo of 2 dolphins. I'd been trying to say "pisces" the zodiac sign, wondering how not to just stoopidy say "fish" in Spanish. But no. She's just looking me straight in the eye and saying "69. Yes?"

well, yes. No mime needed. maybe some hand movement.
But not in this restaurant....

as it turned out, me and Joe left early. As I say, to my shame, I don't speak Spanish and hadn't picked up on his earlier gaffe (read the earlier link). I did pick up on other things (he can dance, don't let him deceive you) but I respected his need to leave. Admirably he said "feel free to stay, Rich" and meant it, but I was with 2 Columbian girls and knew that the sharks would start circling the second he was gone. and they'd speak Spanish. and they'd be able to dance. and they'd make them giggle. Nah, I decided to leave with dignity rather than (much) later and drunker.

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should i have sent this? only time will tell...

As I said (are you reading this in the right order..?) I'm going through notes I wrote as I went round Spain.

Actually I never mentioned that but just wanted to say it to keep you on your toes.
Came across an email adress which caused a wince. hold on - I'm gonna email her - I'll be back...

just crafted the email. how long did that take to write?

about 34 years....

I'm wincing. Only learnt that in the last 20yrs.

Not expecting a response, but hopefully will make someone smile and feel good.

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bit cold innit? oh well...

Soccer is the new weather. Get two Brits in a bar who've never met and instead of the weather (passe) they'll say something like "ooh, looks like Harry's gonna get some stick this weekend at Saint's".
Inoffensive to any fan, and thanks to Redknapp, now usable for a good coupla years.

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steps in castles...

just a thought. On walking up the steps in the Alhambra alcazaba (fort) I noticed that the steps in the towers were at different depths. Not all, just the odd one. Now, I remember hearing that castle builders in Europe did this deliberately to put invaders off their guard (tripping as they ran up, whereas the castle soldiers would be used to them).

couldn't help thinking that this was the best line a dodgy builder had ever thrown for shoddy worksmanship.
"Oh, not the same depth you say? wellllll, that's deliberate innit? y'know, for the enemy like...."


speaking spanish (rather than walking it...)

I speak no Spanish. habla Ingles? mi no habla espanol.
I'm not proud of this fact. My trip is littered with verbal stumblings.
After asking(actually struggling to ask) for something I keep forgetting to say "por favor" so I make up for it with too many "gracias". I'm just concentrating on the nouns too much. Sod grammer, and politeness?? You think I'll remember that after going through the trauma of saying "thing" "thing" "thing" and hoping that the poor sod listening will make sense of three (un)related words?
"Please" just ends up blurted out afterwards confusing them even more, like I'm about to strangle their language again.

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Ok I went to Spain for a bit and now I'm writing up the blog. If you want as-it-happened commentary, then tough. or fund me in my holidaying.

So Spain. Wonderful place, bit cold in December.

hm, guess this blog is gonna have to be a bit more than that to sustain interest...


contains mild peril - pah!

Ok, this is a little odd for those wishing their blog posts in chronological order but just gotta say that this blog is boring in comparison to me mate's.

if you want a first hand account of robbery Columbian-stylie, then read this.

he's alive, though poorer, so this isn't rubber-necking. honest.

and me and joe have never "necked".


Thursday, December 08, 2005

have you ever actually laughed?

an odd question but...
a night ago I dreamt of a big Mountain Gorilla. Big enough to deserve those capitals. Probably obvious "King Kong" subliminal thoughts. Nowt strange. However I dreamt of this gorilla again last night. It leapt over from the top of the Gherkin building wearing a red English infantry uniform from the Napoleonic war period. Y'know the sort, very red with a white x-cross straps. I actually began laughing so hard in my dream that I woke up.

I can't remember laughing myself awake before but it was quite pleasant.